What you need to buy to be a woman

Selling men the idea that they can be women (and vice-versa) is going to involve a lot of new consumer goods

Stolen from Twitter. Author unknown.

As I wrote in a recent article in 4W, straight men who try to pass as women rarely succeed. There are, of course, some men who can get away with it to a degree, but they are mostly transsexuals (a minority of transwomen) who had very delicate features to begin with.

And even those men need to make sure you don’t ever hear their voice or witness them ride a bike.

And yet, even hairy, hulking, day labourers believe they will one day convince the world they are women. Why? Because you told them so, silly. Take this guy. There are thousands of men like him. This big goofball thinks that all those times you called him “her” it’s because he resembles a woman. But then he looks in the mirror half a decade later and the lie is finally revealed. He’s nearing the realisation that strikes them all at some point or another: we call him “her” because we would lose our jobs, friends, and reputations if we didn’t.

And yet the delusion is so strong that he thinks that expensive, painful, complicated facial feminisation surgery (FFS) will fix his problem. What planet is he on? The planet we colluded with his cross-dressing fetish to create.

Enter capitalism

The surgery this guy will painfully get and painfully regret is one example of the offerings in capitalism’s gender-driven consumables catalogue. Gender identity ideology is rapidly devouring the medical and pharma industries, just as it has devoured our governments, education systems, and civil society. And now the corporate world is hard at work trying to catch up. From non-binary t-shirts in sizes F and M (LOL!!!) to Etsy’s cottage industry of kill TERF pins, there’s plenty of tacky crap for sale already.

Justin Bieber, Orlando Bloom, The Weeknd and DJ Khaled, on the advice of wise financial management people, have even invested in a startup that sells DIY sperm-freezing kits so that men can preserve their gametes from the comfort of their own home. From the press release (emphasis mine):

“Due to gender-affirming efforts, transgender women often experience a decline in sperm health. After just two months of tucking - a way to hide the penis and the testes - transgender women see a 97 percent decrease in sperm production, and hormone replacement therapy can lead to infertility. It’s critical that transgender women have the ability to test and freeze their sperm easily - allowing them to live a life that is true to their identity and secure the possibility of having biological children in the future.”

And of course, they can commence their internet-bought hormones without so much as a visit to a doctor.

Sponcon

We’re firmly in the sponshorships/brand ambassador era now. Here’s Dylan Mulvaney, a camp theatre kid who seems to have gotten trapped in a “bit” where he parodies women for giggles on TikTok. In this video he is honouring World Aids Day by selling MAC-branded lipstick. Okay.

Last year people on the internet suggested he had been deal-making with Tampax after he made a video about offering girls tampons in public toilets (GTFO). He called his “vagina” a “Barbie pouch” .

@dylanmulvaneyHonoring World AIDS Day with @maccosmetics using VIVA GLAM – the Lipstick that gives back 100% of the selling price to organizations that support those living with and affected by HIV/AIDS #MACcosmetics #MACVIVAGLAM #ad

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Women privately and publicly recoiled and Tampax suffered some TERF-driven reputational damage. It turned out Tampax had just flooded him (and also “Norman Bates at a gala”, Jeffrey Marsh) with free samples.

What did he do with the PR package full of free tampons? Because women don’t go round public toilets asking other women for sanitary products. That’s male conjecture. I’m just going to come right out and say it: Dylan Mulvaney is a sicko, and he has probably put one of the free tampons in his anus, just to see if it made him feel like the woman he will never be. His Barbie pouch is his rectum.

When I typed '“Dylan Mulvaney” into Twitter, the second result was Tampax’s corporate account. That’s where we are at.

Here’s Mulvaney selling more stuff targetted at women. This time, it’s a brand of body lotion called Eos. The ad centres on him using the lotion to make his breasts nice and soft, which is necessary because synthetic oestrogen has changed his skin, he says. But twist: one of the advantages of the oestrogen is that it makes your skin softer, according to the perverts on Reddit, so it’s all the more stupid and bizarre.

Do the marketing geniuses think men on oestrogen will flock to their product because they have this guy as it’s figurehead? Are they the target audience for this insulting garbage? Or is it that the #BeKind brigade of women who ushered in our new age of nonsense will love the brand because it’s like, inclusive?

Anyway, be prepared to see a lot more like this, especially when they go after the female-to-male cohort, who, underneath it all, are still women whose insecurities are a goldmine.